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E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment. My head hurts and I had to leave work early because I went totally mute. But I’m not shaking and I don’t need my cane and my wife’s not crying or yelling at me. I feel relatively happy. I had a nap and a bowl of chili with some shredded cheese in it.Last night I was a little down and feeling envious which is an emotion I try to avoid like the plague. It’s almost as poisonous as bitterness which will kill your soul. I was envious because there’s all these people who can make choices and I can’t. Oh, I can make the choices, but I don’t have the power to back them up. Simple example: I can decide I want a Little Caesar’s pizza. Oh well, I’m missing so much work right now that’s not an option at the moment. Don’t. At first it was as simple as. "Don't bother to get completely dressed after your bath dear," I would suggest, "just put on something like one of my shirts, with just a small pair of knickers underneath."With just the two of us there things are fine but just wait until the front door bell rings and someone has to answer it and she just knew you are going to make her do it. So the delivery boy got a good look at her exposed legs, no big deal really for she has exposed more than that at the beach. But that's the point this wasn't the beach but our front door step. Later in bed I would tell her that next time she must leave most of the buttons undone and show the poor boy a good look at her tits. Talking like this would bring her off in no time flat leaving her body spent and limp. It was weeks before I brought it up again and made her dress to show her tits off and then many days after that before the front door bell rang so that she had to answer the door, this time to the Gasman. I've.
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